onlinedragonsgame | Test Drive Meme #0

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Legend has it that the god Henir endured Ragnarok, and afterwards created a place where there is no limitation of time and space. Here, she is able to see the rise and fall of the world. Should you reach this place, by Henir's force, you are bound to face the enemies you have met in the past and those you are destined to meet in the future.

Henir's Time And Space

You awake into darkness, surrounded by impossible geometry and an unnerving thrum that fills the cold air. Strange shapes move in the distance, drifting between labyrinthine paths that bend and twist into an endless, senseless maze. Gravity seems to be merely a suggestion, and you'll quickly find that any surface is fine for walking on—sideways, upsidedown, it doesn't matter as long as you're not thinking too hard about it. In a world of raw chaos, the only rule that matters is your willingness to press on. Just don't step too carelessly—one wrong move, and you could end up spinning down (up?) into an endless abyss, lost forever in time and space.

The air is cold, and the longer you stay here the more it feels like that chill will never leave... this isn't a place where mortals should be. Regardless of how you arrived in this place, you'd best make your way back out soon.

... but you're not alone in this alien world. There are others here like yourself, and it never hurts to have a few allies in a strange place like this.

There are also a number of strange... objects? Creatures? Monsters? Whatever you want to call them, they're not terribly friendly and "speak" only in terrifying, unnatural screeches. They seem territorial, which is a problem in a world where space itself follows no logical sense. At least they seem to lose interest once a target it out of their sights(?), and they can be killed(??) if you hit them enough times with something sharp or heavy... if you can't defend yourself, it's better to just keep your distance. There's a lot of sharp edges on those weird things, they seem to be fully aware of that fact.

Somewhere off in the distance you can hear a whale-like cry, followed by a giant shadow that flies past too quickly to see... that one, you probably shouldn't try to fight.

Walking In Circles, Squares And Triangles

No matter which way you go, you never seem to make any progress in finding a way out... and eventually, even the senseless scenery starts to look familiar again. You're not going to get anywhere just by looking around.

But it's on this second pass through that you finally stumble upon something new. Seated comfortably in the middle of the path is a strange man in an iron mask, bound in rusted chains. He is holding... a very dainty tea cup, which appears to be completely empty. He looks up as you approach, waving in a friendly manner.

Mysterious Masked Man

Ah, there you are! I was starting to wonder if you'd died already. Come, come, take a seat. You must be tired from all that running around!

You're an adventurer, aren't you? Yes? No? Ah, well, it's never too late to start! Don't worry about the details. Hmm, let me try a different question... you want to leave this place, don't you? Henir's Time and Space isn't exactly friendly to ones like yourself. Besides, it's starting to get a little... crowded, one might say. I think it'd be beneficial to all of us if you and your little friends went somewhere else, don't you agree?

Kukuku, that's more like it. Why don't we make a deal? You do something for me, and I'll see to it that you can escape this place in one piece. That's fair, don't you think?

Hmm? Who am I? Oh, no one important! Not anymore, that is. You can call me Glave. Come find me again when you're ready. I'll gladly put you to work.

Introduce yourself to the locals!

"You see those shape-like creatures over there? They're not the best for conversation, but you could say they're the natives of this world. The long ones are called Chaos Triangle, and the ones that spin in place are Chaos Circle and Chaos Square. Why don't you start by introducing yourself? Of course, they respond best to acts of extreme violence, so you'd best go in prepared. When you're done playing, bring me back the core of each one and I'll give you something good."
• Defeat Chaos Triangle, Chaos Circle and Chaos Square.
• They're not the toughest of enemies to fight... but they can still smack you pretty hard, they have sharp edges, and they don't like strangers. You can't reason with them and they don't seem to understand speech. Also, the Triangles skitter. It's kind of creepy.
• After striking the final blow, the Chaos creatures will collapse into their polygonal components and leave behind their core (a sphere, cube, or pyramid). Bring back one of each to Glave to complete this quest.

I didn't lose my marbles, but...

"You're not much of a fighter, are you? Or maybe you're just pretending so you can get the easier job... kukuku, who am I to judge? Very well, not everything requires brute force to accomplish. Let's see... well, I did happen to drop something earlier. A pair of blue cubes, about an inch across each side. I think it was somewhere... oh, maybe over there? I'm busy at the moment, so how about you find them for me?"
• Find Glave's two missing cubes.
• His directions are awful to the point of being useless, and they blend in with all the other glowing blue surfaces around here. This might actually be impossible, but try your best.
• Was this a trick to make you go away while he bothered someone else? ... maybe! But hey, it wouldn't hurt to try, right? There's tons of blue cubes just floating around, so maybe you can just find a pair that's almost the same...

To submit quest results, please leave a comment here.

Lamp Oil? Rope? Bombs?

Glave's offer is tempting, if suspicious, but he's not the only one who seems familiar with this place. Somewhere deeper in the endless maze is another such person, standing at the centre of a wide platform bereft of monsters or chaos-creatures... a rest area, if you will. The woman smiles, checking something off on the long scroll in her hands.

Mysterious Woman

Welcome! I'm Helen. We sell necessities for travellers... oh, I'm sorry. Normally I only sell items for ED, but these are trying times. It's alright, let me see what you have and we'll work something out.

Leaving this place? I'm afraid that's outside of my control. I'm just a simple travelling merchant. You'd be better off trying to convince someone like Glave. He can be a bit troublesome, but he's not so bad once you get to know him.

Who would say no to free samples?

"Since you're helping Glave, why don't you take a couple of my potions? It's bad for business if my customers get hurt. If you give one of them to someone else, I'll consider that a favour to myself. Let me know how it goes, and I'll see what I can do to make Glave see reason."
• Find a traveller in need and give them a healing potion! It tastes like Tylenol, but it sure does work.
• Or just lie. Drink both of them yourself! What's the worst that could happen?
• Show Helen that everyone is working hard to escape and she'll knock some sense into Glave.

You can't go to Elrios without a bit of whaling.

"Actually... there is something else you could help me with. I run a fishing business on the side, you see, and I've heard tales of a great Leviathan that roams this space. I've always wondered if other fish might've ended up here as well. I'll let you have this rod, and if you find anything that looks like a fish, let me know."
• Go fishing... in space!!
• There is no water here, it only kind of looks stupid.
• If you keep at it for long enough, you might actually fish something up... or maybe you'll just hook one of the Chaos creatures. Try not to get killed!
• What is that whale sound, anyway? Maybe you can bait it out...?

To submit quest results, please leave a comment here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That boy comment gets him to double take, and flash her a withering glare.

“I beg your pardon?”

He marches toward her, not at all caring that there’s a dangerous weapon pointed his way. It’s nothing compared to the dangerous toys he’s seen Add wield, but his profoundly feckless god isn’t here right now. He might even be laughing at him from behind the screen in some dark, ill-lit room for all Jakob knows.

But he’ll have to crawl out of this dark void to find out.

He reaches up, gently nudging the gun aside, his other hand empty, albeit he’s ready to whip out a few daggers cunningly hidden in his sleeves if she does prove too hostile.

“Ugh, never mind that. You want to escape from this unpleasantness, yes?”

One doesn't wield a gun that big without people thinking she'd be incapacitated without it. It's a great weapon, for sure, but the drawbacks had to be made up for by quick reflexes. Ones she's not showing for now, unfazed by him pushing aside the head. She narrows her eyes, cautious even as she considers his risk profile.

Confident, almost arrogant. He's not taking her lightly, but she's not sure what he has on him so she errs on the side of caution. He looks-- well, pissy, but she's not sure she'd consider it dangerous yet.

What does stick out are the words he says.

"Oh? You know what's going on here, then?"

Lucky, except luck wasn't something you just trust, not with such nice timing.

“Unfortunately, I can make a very accurate guess.”

But she seems suspicious of him—as evidenced by the gun she isn’t putting down—and he can’t even blame her. However, neither of them seem to have much choice in terms of partners, do they? Jakob isn’t even sure he’ll come across another human being in this annoying place.

“But more importantly, time is of the essence, so I’ll be blunt. I need your help to escape. Once we’re both free, we can go our separate ways. Are these terms acceptable?”

"My, I so don't like it when I'm being rushed. You must scare off your dates all the time."

She narrows her eyes a little less, the corners crinkling as she smiles. It's not a nice smile, sickly sweet in the way that it's obvious she's not all that happy with the response.

"What do you know first? Then I'll consider whether it's worth my time, hm?"

His eye twitches at the word date, but he’s trying to keep his temper down. He hates having to work with people like this—especially testy ones like she’s turning out to be—but the matter is urgent, and deep down he’s terribly worried that the likely instigator to this whole mess has hurt himself in the doing of it.

…Ugh. The things he does in the name of service…

“My master, Add, governs the forces of chaos. I’m afraid this world we’re in is his handiwork, and I need to find him and stop him before it gets any worse.”

None of this is actually a secret anyway, but he feels deeply irritated at even telling her this, somehow. Ugh. Is she happy now?

... Well, that's unexpected.

"Oh? And what reason does your master have to do all this?"

She doesn't think he's lying, if onlt because he's so irate about the whole thing that it's hard to think he's faking it. However, that just makes her have more questions.

She does lower her gun, just a little. Less tense, though still cautious.

“Probably out of simple curiosity, knowing him.” Said with a scoff, as if anyone can ever truly comprehend what goes on through that annoying little head of his. It’s one thing to be babysitting a god, but quite another when said god doesn’t even take his responsibilities seriously.

“Well? Are you satisfied?”

"Only if I'm allowed to shoot him."

She doesn't completely accept it, but since he's not trying to cover it up, she supposed that's reason enough to trust his words. Besides, that's just terrible to admit so he has balls to be so upfront about how his master is.

Even if it makes him utterly suspicious. She doesn't dislike that though.

"So, what do you need me to do?"

“Out of the question.”

His gaze hardens. She might very well be joking about the shooting him bit, but Jakob unfortunately has next to no sense of humor.

“He is my responsibility. I won’t let anyone else lay a finger on him.”

"He's gone ahead and kidnapped me. You should've kept a better eye on your charge."

Too bad, negotiations broke down so quickly. She seriously hates these noble types and their servants, especially when they're this demanding but still thinks they should be the ones to take control of everything.

She doesn't raise her gun again, but she shrugs her coat higher, lets it drape over her shoulders as she starts to walk off.

"Deal's off then. I'm not going to play this silly game."

“Have it your way, then.”

He won’t stop her from leaving, though he’ll make a mental note to keep track of her all the same. He won’t tolerate anyone trying to shoot down his silly charge, especially when all this is likely some equally foolish accident. Add may be many things, but he’s not usually petty enough to kidnap a complete stranger like this one.

Ugh, what a waste of time. He turns around and marches off in the opposite direction.

Test Drive Meme #0

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